I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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