yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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