He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
