how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
