is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
