It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize