You're completely useless in the revolution.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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