I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
