Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
