Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize