then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
