PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
