I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
