I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
