its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
