you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you never un-have a 4some
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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