Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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