In the future we'll all be gay
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize