He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
