Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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