I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize