you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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