Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
