He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
