im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
