Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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