she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
