I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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