census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
