I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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