I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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