Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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