Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
