i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
