Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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