Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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