i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just forgot I was standing up.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
