i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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