I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
