There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
