dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize