tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
