They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize