Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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