i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
