homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
