community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
