we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
