I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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