I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is Oprah even human
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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