I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
