We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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