Plan B is the new Plan A
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize