there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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