He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
