I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
