Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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