Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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