There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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