I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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