ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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