Please, let me fuck your mom
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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