It's Friday. Sex?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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