Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
