are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We talked him into tasing himself.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
