I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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