can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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