Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
