I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its about making memories worth repressing
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
