You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
