when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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